The Awkward Conversation We're Avoiding (But Shouldn't)

The Awkward Conversation We’re All Avoiding (But Really Shouldn’t)

Let’s be real for a moment. We Aussies will chat about absolutely anything – the weather, last night’s footy match, who got voted off the island on reality TV. But mention death? Suddenly everyone’s checking their phones and mumbling about needing another drink.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: most of us are treating our final wishes like they’re state secrets. Despite death being, well, inevitable for all of us, new research reveals that only a small percentage of Australians have made any future health or care plans. Nearly half of us don’t even have a current Will.

The Mystery You Don’t Want to Leave Behind

Think dying without sharing your wishes is mysterious and poetic? Sorry to burst that bubble, but it’s actually just messy. It’s really, really messy for the people who are grieving.

This is exactly why the “Nobody Knows: The Secret I’m Glad I Shared” is the campaign for 2025, and they’re not pulling any punches. The message is simple: if you don’t say it, literally nobody will know what you actually wanted.

“We want people to recognise that nobody’s a mind reader, especially when you’re no longer around to clarify things,” explains Danni Petkovic, Dying to Know’s Community Programs and Campaign Manager. “These conversations aren’t just about the big legal stuff. Sure, Wills matter, but what about the everyday mysteries you’ll leave behind?”

The Questions That Keep Families Up at Night

Here’s where it gets interesting (and slightly amusing). We’re not just talking about who gets the house, the car or the millions (or not). What about the real mysteries:

Who’s going to look after your anxious labradoodle who only trusts you?
Where exactly did you hide the family’s legendary Tim Tam slice recipe?
Do you want your funeral playlist to feature AC/DC or Taylor Swift? (No judgment here – we’ve all got our preferences)

“These are the details families end up bickering over, frantically searching for, or just plain guessing,” Petkovic adds. “A conversation now means no family WhatsApp group meltdowns later.”

And honestly, isn’t avoiding family WhatsApp drama reason enough to start having these conversations?

We’ve Got Our Priorities Backwards

Dr Catherine Joyce, National Manager for Advance Care Planning Australia, puts it perfectly: “We’ll spend hours planning our next holiday but won’t spare five minutes talking about our final wishes. The Dying to Know campaign isn’t about doom and gloom – it’s about taking control of your final story.”

It’s true, isn’t it? We’ll research restaurants for weeks before a weekend trip, but we can’t manage a single conversation about what matters most to us.

The Surprising Generation Leading the Charge

Here’s a plot twist: while older Aussies often dodge death conversations entirely, younger generations are embracing them. A 2024 study found that more than 80% of Gen Z believes it’s “normal to be a bit weird” – and apparently, being refreshingly open about death, grief, and everything in between falls into that category.

Rory Kehoe, this year’s Dying to Know intern, shares his transformation: “It’s actually pretty wild how quickly talking about death becomes just another normal conversation. And honestly? We have way more fun with it than you’d expect. Before working on Dying to Know, I wasn’t even comfortable saying the word ‘death’ out loud. Now look at me – I’m practically a deathie now!”

The Reality Check from Healthcare Workers

Healthcare professionals see the consequences of our silence every day. As one palliative care nurse puts it: “Families often rock up to hospital with zero plan and no clue what their loved one actually wanted. It turns an already tough situation into a nightmare. A few honest conversations earlier could have changed everything.”

That’s the reality check we all need to hear.

Your Perfect Excuse to Start Talking

If you’ve been putting off these conversations (and let’s face it, most of us have), here’s the perfect opportunity. Friday, 8 August is Dying to Know Day. Dying to Know Day is a Proveda program and this year there are over 200 events taking place across the country. You can join a casual coffee chat, attend a structured workshop, participate in a webinar, or find a community forum near you.

Ready to Share Your Secrets?

The truth is, having these conversations isn’t nearly as scary as we make it out to be. It can be really empowering. You get to decide how your story ends, what matters most to you, and what you want your loved ones to know.

So, get your people together, host your own Dying to Know event, or find one near you at dyingtoknow.au. Join the conversation on social media with #DyingToKnow #NobodyKnows #TheSecretImGladIShared.

Because here’s the thing: the only conversation worse than the one about death is the one you were too scared to have.

Ready to break the silence? Your future self (and your family’s WhatsApp group) will thank you.

Here are the Resources to Help You Start (or continue) the Conversation:

Emotional Will: Not everything important fits into a legal document. This resource helps you capture the personal things, your values, hopes, memories, and the messages you want to leave behind. It’s about passing on more than just possessions.

Find it here: Your Emotional Will

Your Final Checklist: A simple, practical guide to help you think ahead. From medical wishes and funeral preferences to legal and financial tasks, this checklist walks you through what matters, so nothing gets left unsaid or undone.

Find it here: Your Final Checklist

Your Letters: In the process of creating your end-of-life documents, you may want to notify the family or friends you have nominated. We have created example templates to help guide you in communicating with loved ones about your wishes.

Find it here: Your Letters

The Secret I’m Glad I Shared: This creative reflection activity invites you to explore what matters most through prompts like your emotional will, a grief playlist, a letter to your past self, and the rituals that make you feel alive. It’s designed to help you express what’s often left unsaid, either privately, or as a starting point for meaningful conversations with others.

Find it here: The Secret I’m Glad I Shared

Postcards: A simple way to start conversations about death, dying, and end-of-life planning. Hand them out at events, include them in care packs, display them in community spaces, or send one to someone to open the door to a meaningful chat. Each card celebrates life, connection, and the importance of being prepared.

Find it here: Postcards

Event Toolkit: Check out our event toolkit for the full range of campaign resources!

Key resources in this toolkit include:

Dying to Know Logo Package
Campaign Posters (with and without headings)
Social Media Tiles
Facebook Banners
How to ‘Register an Event’ Guide
Customisable Event Posters

Merchandise: We have created a range of merchandise options for purchase to distribute at your events, including posters, stickers, bags and more. Alternatively, you can download the resources above and print out your own designs or posters.

Find it here: Dying To Know Merch

How You Can Get Involved

There’s no one right way to take part in Dying to Know Day, and no pressure to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up in a way that feels right for you.

⭐️ Start a conversation – Ask a loved one about their end-of-life wishes over a cup of tea or share your own.

⭐️ Host an event – Organise a Dying to Know Day event in your community, workplace, or local space. Use our ready-made resources and activity templates to guide the conversation. You don’t need to be an expert, just create a space where people feel safe to share and listen.

⭐️ Share your story online – Post a reflection, photo, or resource that helped you. Use #DyingToKnowDay to join the national conversation and help break the silence.

⭐ ️ Reflect in your own time – Use our guided templates to write a letter to your past self, make a grief playlist, or think through your emotional will. Sometimes private reflection is the most powerful place to start.

Big or small, quiet, or public, it all counts.

This is about making space for the conversations that matter, in whatever way feels right for you.

Save the Date: August 8

On August 8, we’ll be highlighting stories from across the country, real voices, real questions, real experiences. It’s not too late to get involved, and it’s never too early to start talking.

Let this be the year you ask the questions, share the story, or take that first step toward being better prepared.

Stay Connected

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Join the conversation. Explore the resources. Share with someone you love.

Let’s make Dying to Know Day 2025 our most meaningful one yet.